Anti-social blues.

I had a thought today. I noticed, that for the past maybe 2 weeks I hadn’t “hung out” with anybody. Besides the people I saw for work and saw around, I hadn’t intentionally made plans to ‘hang out’ with somebody. Of course, I’m always one to “philosophy” about this kind of stuff, so I started exploring the “why” behind the reason I had been extra ‘antisocial’ these past weeks. 

Was it because I’m tired? Its a valid hypothesis considering I do have a busy life… But I don’t buy it, there is no way I’m THAT tired. So maybe it is that Im lazy. Well, maybe, but if it was something “appealing” enough I would definitely motivate. So maybe its just that its not appealing enough to hang out with people. Which obviously is a ridiculous idea, and one that scares me a bit. So what is next? An introvert. Am I an introvert? Or am I just not that much of a “people person”? 

Come to think about it, I don’t know if I have that many people who I consider to be REALLY close to me. Definitely much less than I would have imagined as a little girl. So maybe its just that I don’t like too many people… Or I don’t like too many people enough. Do you?

Another reason could be that maybe Im a focused and hard working person. Which I hope to be, but does that justify no human contact? So maybe Im just hurt/ trust issues/ too many broken hearts to open up again... Or maybe it could simply be that I am so full of myself and so self absorbed that I am perfectly content with myself, by myself. Which is kind of a funny idea and I really hope not the right one.

I guess it could maybe just be technology… The internet and phones, the accessibility we have to people we didn’t “make the effort” to physically meet… The illusion that you can be connected, while you are really just becoming more and more reclusive…