Mastering relationship

Some things in life we never really 'master'. Most of those things involve relationship. The good news is, we can ALL make a conscious effort to get better at it. 

We love most of the connotations that come with being unique. They give us a sense of importance and of exclusivity. But because of the very fact that we are all 'one of a kind', there is not ONE person out there who feels the way you do and thinks the way you do - making it terribly difficult to navigate relationships at times.

Because we are selfish human beings by nature- and we all are- we tend to see our point of view as the point of view that makes most sense. Even if we decide to be understanding, lets face it, at best we agree to disagree. So here are a couple points I've found helped me when it comes to navigating personal relationship:

Focus more on how our actions make that person feel, and less on whether we find our actions to be correct.
If we are genuinely trying to make a relationship work (whether friendship, romantic or family), it is more important to be respected and understood than to be right. Would you prefer to prove a point, or to know that regardless of you being right or wrong, the other person will choose to honor you (along with your feelings) and choose not to hurt you? Lets treat others how we'd like to be treated, shall we?

Make a conscious effort to please. 
By this, I don't mean be a pushover or be overly eager to please - because that would just be plain annoying. What I mean is, find the time in your busy life to do something that pleases the other person. We get so caught up with our day-to-day that sometimes going out of our way becomes too 'out of our way'. We are all guilty of that. But I can't stress enough that going the extra mile will immensely impact your relationship for the better. That text message that will put a smile on someone’s face; those flowers that will say 'I value you', not just 'I'm sorry' or 'Happy Birthday'; that gift that doesn't come on an occasion; that card you wrote, just because. 

Choose to trust.
This is a new one for me. I always thought that the second you came to terms with the fact that 'you cannot trust ANYBODY but YOURSELF' in life, you were stronger for that. Now I can honestly say I am going to have to disagree with myself on that one unfortunately. Although that's what society teaches us, 'fool me once shame on you- fool me twice, shame on me', if we are trying to maintain a relationship, how do we plan on doing that without giving someone the benefit of the doubt? Those who choose to trust, earn trust. If you choose to believe in someone, you are giving him or her a reason to keep trying, to feel loved, to feel valued, and to trust in YOU. The alternative is choosing to always 'protect' yourself by being so skeptical and  distrustful, that you never fully allow someone to feel secure, but rather, wrongfully open up a door that says 'this relationship may fail'. It won't fail if both parties choose to not let it fail. If its complicated with the other person, you should be the one to start. Chances are the other person thinks its complicated with YOU.

Notice how there is a CHOICE to be made in every point. Ultimately, it all starts with YOU. We cannot expect and demand changes in a person, but we can all control how we treat our relationships, and that is something worth doing. I humbly believe that if there is ONE thing worth fighting for – it's people.